Cheers to Progress

“If the truth be known, most successes are built on a multitude of failures.“-unknown

Every person wants to be great. A great mother. A great wife. A great daughter. A great sister. Every person wants to achieve great things and succeed however big or small the goals be.

I have read many times of successful individuals who faced discouraging obstacles before reaching greatness. They reached greatness because they refuse to buck down from defeat. Instead, these moments of defeat enriched them, and when they stood still, the tides turned allowing them to create opportunities out of those obstacles.

I believe that every great man, every great work, and any great thing go through failures and discouragements. They turn to soar when things are going against them as a kite rises against the wind, not with it.

Idealistic people just like me, set a certain degree of standard that’s “way up there”, that it is always a struggle to meet that standard every time. Even if I have been through those goals numerous times, each situation becomes different as many unexpected circumstances contribute to failures. Frustrations pop up often that are beyond my control. It is so easy to will myself to hold on but then again it is easier to just simply give up. Trust me the latter is more enticing especially when conflicts with people arise. I am a bit of a pessimist, but a little degree of being such probably helps me recognize gray areas in my goals to temper my idealism with the reality.

“Hold on to your vision and never let go!” This is easy to say but hard to accept when failures abound and heartbreaking setbacks are apparent. Especially disheartening is hearing a pervasive voice that judges, blames, criticizes, berates me to the point that my will is near broken. Recognizing this voice, the devil’s advocate, the one greatest influence that incessantly tramples me down, came to me as quite a surprise –  it’s my own voice after all. It is ironic that one’s voice can become her worst enemy, and how one’s own voice can be a harsh unforgiving critic dampening whatever enthusiasm and spirit that may still be left. This negative voice can cause you to lose the opportunity “to be the great person that you could have been” (to borrow a line derived from That Thing Called Tadhana).

I have become my own villain. I have subjected myself to self-destructive and self-debasing thoughts that allow failures to arise. It is my overly critical voice that extinguishes the light that should have guided my will, thus I dwelled in the dark far longer that I am supposed to. I should not have been in this dilemma had I not been too exacting of myself and had I not flagellated myself irrationally. This is my internal struggle: I am too harsh to myself. The blame game is on me even when I have no control of certain things.

Now I am learning to forgive and let go – to forgive myself and let go of things I have absolutely no control over. I forgive myself for setting perfection as my standard, and for failing too many times…(99% percent of the time?). Please forgive me as well if from now on I won’t be chasing perfection. Perfection is finite.

From now on, my goal is progress. Progress is unequivocally infinite. Let me do greater things that the best of me can do. That villain inner voice can rest in peace.

Now, I have set new goals. Surely, problems will be there in every turn of this different journey. It is important to recognize that obstacles make success sweeter. It is important to understand that smooth journey doesn’t make you a skilled traveller. But with the villain voice resting in peace, I can easily say to myself hold on and just do your best. Cheers to new beginnings…to loving yourself more…and cheers to our great future! Remember to love and appreciate when you’ve done your best!

XOXO,
Zandra